ER and Changing Seasons

Today I'm thinking through different seasons of my life, searching for God's faithfulness. Oddly enough, this memory trip was prompted by nothing less than a televison show.

Last night was the season finale of ER, a show that ran for 15 seasons from 1994 - 2009. Why is that significant? Maybe because 1994 was the year I moved to California. I remember the start of the series when I first worked with Campus Crusade at Cal Poly, and a few years later while working in Hollywood, I spent a good deal of time praying for the cast and crew during weekly prayer walks on the Warner Brothers lot.

But this isn't about ER. It's about remembering the seasons of my life over these last 15 years. First, a list: Season 1, Move to CA - Cal Poly Pomona; Season 2, Hollywood; Season 3, Atlanta - Grizzard; Season 4, Florida - Dad's illness; Season 5, Atlanta - slow recovery; Season 6, unemployment to career change; Season 7, writer.

It's bizarre for me to think back, each season carrying unique friendships and experiences that were not duplicated elsewhere. I'm amazed to think about how much I've been through, both good and bad.

How many times have I been in crisis, not knowing a way out, begging God for resolution? Too many to count. It's weird to look back from this distance and see that the ways that God answered were not the ways I expected. Very rarely did I get instant relief. Even with the life-changing miracle of my dad, it seemed to come about so slowly that I didn't even notice God was answering until much later.

That's not to say there were never instant, dramatic answers to prayers. There have been many, particularly regarding money and cars, where solutions just appeared at the last moment. But the bigger life crises, what to do when I was thinking about leaving Crusade staff in California for example, resolved over several years in small increments rather than with one big clear "answer from God."

I know God works differently with different people. Sometimes He moves powerfully and very fast, as was the case when I made the decision to move to Florida in two days and physically moved a week later. But that was a very rare exception for me, in fact I can't think of one other time that's happened.

It's helpful for me to think through the seasons and how God's moved me forward, particularly right now as I struggle with faith once again. While I still feel wrestle with some of the same angst I had two years ago, I don't feel the same angst I did 10 years ago. Maybe my problem is just that I want God to move faster. He may be very slow in some areas, but that doesn't mean there is no movement.

Watching ER last night I was struck by the fact that this season's cast was completely different from the cast of the first season. I haven't actively watched the show in almost 10 years, so I didn't know any of the characters. Until some of the old cast came back last and reminded me that this is the same ER. What I realize though is that the cast changes happened gradually; one character leaves, one new guy comes, but never all at once. I think God works the same way a lot of times. Slow, less disruptive change.

Not that I like it slow--I'm ready for big change, now (I think)--but it helps to see that God can be moving when we don't necessarily see it.

So now that ER is off the air, I wonder if that means a 15 year chapter of my life is closed? Will I have a new drama series to chart my seasons by? What's the next (positive) change coming down the pike?