Published in Germany

Okay, this is totally surreal. I just happened upon a blog from Germany (written primarily in German) that had posted the article I wrote on the economy. Germany. I mean, for real?

It's more or less the previous post on this blog, which was published yesterday on Burnside Writers Collective (burnsidewriterscollective.com), a website started by Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz) that markets itself as "an alternative to franchise faith." I'm still getting over the shock that they actually published what I wrote, and now it's on some guy's blog in Germany? You gotta love the internet (and when I say love, what I mean is "be freaked out by").

The notion that other people may actually read what I write is . . . well, it still makes me uncomfortable. I know, I know, I've written on this blog for a year and a half, but that's just you guys--mostly friends and a handful of strangers. I've written for Network Magazine, but those are articles about other people, not ones expressing my own thoughts. I've written lots of corporate copy, but again, that doesn't express what I think. And while I've published personal essays a few other places, Burnside's audience is easily the largest yet to read my personal thoughts.

Suddenly I'm finding myself wanting to shout, "Wait! I'm not sure I meant that. Don't take me too seriously. Those were just some thoughts I had. Don't feel like you need to share what I wrote with friends or--with Germany, for goodness sake!"

There are two sides to this coin. Heads: I hope this helps me to gain the confidence to continue putting my work out there, rather than assuming I don't have anything to say or the ability to say it. Tails: I also hope I don't start thinking too much about the ramifications of something I might write and thus hinder myself from free- flowing thought.

I've heard of this happening to new authors who hit it big right out of the gate. They write their first book, freely expressing their passion for the subject and bam! it becomes a bestseller. Instantly they are asked to write a second, third, and fourth book. But now they can't write, because they're suddenly aware that people are actually going to read and form an opinion about what they write. They overly self-edit and their second book is a mere whisp of the first.

Okay, this was helpful. I just had to tell somebody about the Germany thing and talk it out. Shake it off, Mel, shake it off. All is well. Good in fact. Right? Absolutely. Is it too early for a glass of wine, do you think?