True Confessions

Right now, this very moment as I write, I'm watching Denise Richards: It's Complicated. On purpose. I'm not proud of it, but in the spirit of being open with my weaknesses, I confess that one my biggest is reality tv. Not the Dancing With the Stars/American Idol kind of reality, but the behind-the-scenes-in-the-life-of-a-celebrity kind. Gene Simmons. The Two Coreys. Tori and Dean: Inn Love. And I keep finding more of them, some for celebrities I haven't even heard of. Who are the Kardashians? It doesn't matter, I'm still drawn in. (The one lake I haven't dipped my toes into is The Hills. But I would.)

What's the appeal? I'm not sure I know myself. I mean I know it's only pretend-reality, manufactured stories for the sake of entertainment, and that some of these people's lives are seriously messed up, but I don't really care. I'm still intrigued.

And if there's not reality tv, there's the new stream of true crime mysteries that I seem to keep getting sucked into. The other week they had this one where a totally normal seeming guy tried to kill his whole family, arranging to be shot in the leg himself by the "intruder" to throw suspicion off him. His Dad lived and is now his best friend, while he awaits execution. I couldn't sleep after that. But even more sleep-disrupting are the ones where you're not quite sure, even after the verdict, if the guy really did it.

I need a life, don't I?

You know what else? I love blockbuster movies. Pretty much, I love movies in general. In the theater, that is. I almost never rent DVDs or watch movies on TV. Why should I when there's reality tv or crime mysteries? (only reality crime, I don't like CSI-type shows.) Truth is I love the experience of being in the theater. Huge screen, music, drama, emotion. To me it's like the difference between going to a concert and listening to a CD. Is that weird?

There's this sense, with some of the movies I like to go see, that they are beneath me. I mean that in the sense that friends sometimes give me that look that says "You want to see what? Why?" Even movies that get bad reviews, if the preview intrigues me, I have to go.

Just as I appreciate good literature, NPR, and Frontline, I also enjoy good art films, brilliant screenwriting, and insightful directing. I support Project Greenlight. I used to go to the Telluride Film Festival every year. But that doesn't mean I don't love a good sci-fi special-effects-ridden blockbuster just as much. Bring on the aliens and the one-dimensional heros. I still know the difference between Peter Berg and the Coen Brothers.

I'm not sure why I get defensive. I guess I want to be thought of as possessing high-brow intelligence, but at the same time I have this insatiable need to defend my right to just be mindlessly entertained.

One final confession: I think Ellen Degeneres is just about the funniest person on tv.

Or maybe I just like her because she appreciates reality televison.